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If you had a vaginal birth, you may have had an episiotomy which you will want to heal completely. If you had a Cesarean, you had major surgery and need to not do anything strenuous for 6 weeks.
However going to your 6 week appointment does not mean you will be ready physically or emotionally.
Reasons you may not be ready:
- If you had a bad tear or even just a regular episiotomy, doesn't mean at 6 weeks it won't hurt anymore. Not to scare anyone but I had a fourth degree tear with my second child and it still was a bit painful to have sex over a year later. (Although we only waited 8 weeks to resume sex - I just dealt with the pain.)
- You are dealing with an influx of emotions as your hormones change and you are in love with your new baby. You may be dealing with baby blues or even just be so in love with the baby that you only want to take care of him or her.
- You're tired. Notice I didn't say you MAY be tired. All new moms are tired, some more than others, it all depends on how the baby sleeps although in general, it's not much the first few weeks since they have to eat so often.
- You may be breastfeeding and some women struggle with the idea of your breasts being used for food and for sex at the same time. (For that matter, there are husbands who refuse to touch or kiss a women's breasts when she's breastfeeding.)
- You may be afraid of getting pregnant again. You should have talked birth control at your 6 week appointment. Make sure you are implementing your preferred method and use any backup birth control you need to, depending on what you picked. Remember you can get pregnant BEFORE your period returns.
When you are ready, take it slow. If you had a tear or episiotomy, go on top so you can be in control. Trust me.
visiting you back from the Alexa hop, have a great day
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. I lucked out and had almost no tearing or anything, so we didn't even make it to 6 weeks, but I have many good friends who had to wait much longer.
ReplyDeleteYes go on top even if you had a tear naturally. I had 36 stitches (tear) no episodemy with my second and I hear you on the 1 year later part. It's been five years and I still suffer pain (only slight)during my monthly. Great post with great advice, only do what's right for you. Besides there is more to connecting with your spouse then just sex. Cuddling, going for walks, talking, having a nice dinner. Reconnecting is what matters most.
ReplyDeleteI had c-sections and it took me long to recover. I love when you say : don't ignore your man. I did this error on the first pregnancy and it took us months to reconnect. It was hard to convince him to have a second baby!! But hopefully we had our second baby and managed the after birth better
ReplyDeleteIt definitely took us about 5-5.5 months before I felt ready again.
ReplyDeleteStumbled your post, would love a stumble back: http://www.darcyandbrian.com/?p=2884
Thanks!
Colleen... lucky you!
ReplyDeleteJodi.. I have no idea how many stitches I got. I had the episiotomy the 1st time and tore the second time (4th degree - the worst) right before they could do another episiotomy. Baby was 9lbs 3oz
Our Family World... it can be very easy for some to forget to pay attention to your man.
ReplyDeleteDarcy... wow. Was your man understanding? Thanks for stumble, will return.
hello fellow canuck.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and advice!!
{I stumbled you!}
Great post. I stumbled you. My post is http://booksyourkidswilllove.blogspot.com/2011/05/summer-of-reading.html
ReplyDeleteGreat information!
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