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Showing posts with label Mommy Mindset. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mommy Mindset. Show all posts

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Making Time For Your Spouse (The Mommy Mindset)

The Mommy Mindset

A few of us bloggers get together to chat about parenting issues. This time we focused on out spouses. I’d love for you to add your thoughts in the comments.

How do you make time for your spouse?

Valerie: Doing things as a family and also making time for date night. We really try to make time for each other each night after the kids have gone to bed - whether it's 30 min or a few hours it really makes a difference.

Lena: I am really bad with it. I still owe my husband a romantic dinner for his birthday (almost 4 months ago). WOW - I should really not be saying anything about paying attention to marriage

Kathleen: I'm still working on this. Even when the kids are all asleep, my husband and I do different things so it's hard to find something to do TOGETHER. My suggestion would be the little things, a kiss, a hand squeeze, a shoulder rub as you walk by even. Showing you care in little ways will add up.

Mary: I have a husband? So that's who that guy is! Just kidding... It is crazy hard to find a balance and it does not help that we co-sleep. One day baby girl will be in her own bed! Until then, we are creative in finding "alone time" but we fail at date nights and I feel the strain. I think we both realize that this time is temporary and our needs can come second - for now. That said, holy crap do we need a weekend alone! A friend of mine, who's kids are a few years older, will just go into their room for "mommy and daddy time." As open as I am about some things I don't think I will ever be that open. Its bad enough my son caught us one night, I don't think we could afford the therapy on us actually doing it while they are fully conscious.

Emily: My husband is ALWAYS wanting to have date nights, my problems is that I ALWAYS want to be the one to tuck The Boy in at night. I've started to let go of that and we've been having at least one date night a month. A few weeks ago, we went away overnight and my mom stayed with The Boy. It was awesome to let go of being a mom and connect with my husband. We go to lunch together during the week while The Boy is at school, not as romantic as a dinner, but still a wonderful time together. We even have a date night planned for this Tuesday - Dave Matthews Band!

Ghada: Hmmm...by the crickets in the discussion, I suspect we are all having trouble keeping that balance. To be honest, with 2 kids under 5 paying attention to our marriage is sometimes as simple as having a chat over tea after dinner. Though we are aiming to do date night starting in July at least twice a month.

Mary: ‎Ghada I was thinking the same thing and feel relived that it is not just me, ladies.

Thank You for sharing, Valerie of Valerie’s Reviews, Lena of Way2Goodlife, Kathleen of Callista’s Ramblings, Mary of iNeed a Playdate, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Ghada of Mama goes BAM

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Mommy Mindset: Good Night Routine


I guess we all learn the hard way what works for our kids when it comes to the "Good Night" Routine. What works for you and what doesn't?

Sarah: I allocate an hour for our goodnight routine. It starts with picking up whatever toys need to be put away, on to her bath (if she's getting one that evening) and finally we read 2 books that she gets to pick out and sing 3 songs. We always sing the "Goodnight Song." She does fine with me but when it's her dad's turn to put her down, she fights it. If he plays with her in her room after pajamas and before reading, she does better but she always calls out for me. I'll admit, part of me likes that she only wants me to put her down. :)

Leila: We don't have much of a routine, even though we should. Night time is usually our family down time and we watch the kids' shows with them. A half hour before bed (so at the start of a new show) we let them know that when this show is over, it is bed time. This at least helps them prepare for bedtime. When the show is over (fortunately kid shows typically end a few minutes early) they put on their jammies, do potty breaks, good night kisses all around and off to bed. It works for us anyway!

Mariah: I love hearing about everyone's routine. I know our night time situation is not ideal at all. We should have more of a routine and I know I should work on that as my little man gets older. If he doesn't go to sleep early then he stays up with me and my husband and plays or lays on his bean bag. When I get ready to go upstairs, my husband brings him up while I brush my teeth. Then I lay down with W and he usually falls asleep within about 10 minutes while I read.

Sarah: I should also add that my daughter's bed time is different every night. I know we should be consistent but on the nights she doesn't have school the next day, we let her stay up later. She's definitely a night owl. On NYE, she made it to midnight while I was ready to go to bed!

Lena: Here is my problem: my 4 year old takes online pre-school class in the evening and after that she goes to bed and stays up for an hour reading book. My two year old doesn't know how to fall asleep - he keep jumping out of a crib until he somehow manages to fall asleep.

Sarah: Does your 2 year old nap in the afternoon? If so, for how long? My 2.5 year old will take 3 hour naps if I let her. I try to only let her sleep 2 hours so she'll go to bed a little easier. My friend lets her son jump on his trampoline (small, indoor one) as part of his bedtime ritual. I thought it would just get him wound up but it tires him out.

Emily: Bedtime at our house is 7:45. As far as a routine, we have a routine for everything! It's been my experience that my son reacts better when he knows what to expect. We read two books, brush our teeth, use the potty, and then it's hugs and kisses all around. My son stays awake "reading" for probably 25 - 30 minutes, which - according to my parents - is what I did as a child, too.

(c) 2012 Kathleen Garber.
Kathleen: Ours is pretty standard. Around 7:00 we start it with the aim for bedtime at 7:30. PJS, Brush Teeth, One daughter Takes pill, say goodnight to Daddy, Hear Story, get tucked in. Works for us.

Lena: ‎Sarah, If I would let me 2 yo jump on trampoline, he'd be climbing the walls!! Both 2 and 4 still get a nap, the 2 yo actually sleeps less than 4 yo. He sleeps like 2 hours. I tried to do yoga before bed with them yesterday - 2 yo messed everything up and they both ended up laughing a lot. He just cannot come himself down.

Emily: ‎Lena, have you thought about creating a chart of your bedtime routine for the 2-year old? It might help him to relax, as he'll know what to expect. I'm working on one right now (for a different topic) at the suggestion of an Early Childhood Educator friend of mine. Children crave routine, and knowing what is next and what's expected of them helps them feel like they have control.

Cyndy: We don't really have a routine which I know is not the ideal way to handle bedtime, but it has worked for us. There is some bit of a routine in terms of a book, or a bath (depending on the night), or a drink, brushing teeth - but the times/order change constantly. Sometimes this works really well for us and sometimes it does not, but overall we've not had huge issues in this area.

Ghada: We do the same sort of wind down routines every night, not always in the same order. I let Mr 4 take the lead as long as he is actually winding down. What worked really well with him as a baby and is working for his 4 month old sister is a sleep bag. As soon as I dim the lights and zip her into it, she starts to yawn and knows it is time for sleep. So it doesn't matter if she didn't have a bath that night, she still picks up on the sleep bag cue. Besides that, baths, reading a book and singing a song are regular night time routines.

Thank You for your valuable input, Ghada of Mama Goes BAM, Mariah of Formula Mom, Lena of Way2Goodlife, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Cyndy of Mama Does It All, Kathleen of  Callista’s Ramblings, Sarah of East 9th Street, and Leila of The Go To Mommy.


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Thursday, March 08, 2012

The Mommy Mindset: Homeschooling



I have teamed up with some fabulous Mommy bloggers on Facebook to discuss "current events" of parenting and mommyhood!

This week's moms include Cyndy from Mama Does It All, Ashley from Maryland Momma's Rambles & Reviews, Darcy from Tales From the Nursery, Kathleen from Callista's Ramblings, Heather from Full Price? Never!, Ghada from Mama Goes BAM, LaVonne from Long Wait for Isabella, Mariah from Formula Mom, Lena from Way2Goodlife, and Emily from Nap Time is My Time.

The Mommy Mindset: Homeschooling


Cyndy: Gwen is about to be 4 years old and currently attends preschool two days each week. We do a lot of educational activities with her but not necessarily in a formal or planned way. She will be old enough to start kindergarten in August 2013 (God help me!) and so we are already starting to explore our options: Public school, private school, home school full-time, home school co-op....I'd love to know if anyone has been through this decision process and/or is going to go through this process - lessons learned, things to consider, etc. This is a road I have not been down before.

Ashley: I am very happy with the public and private school options in my town for elementary age and younger. While homeschooling would not fit with my family, I do know several parents who have opted to join home school co-ops and they couldn't be happier with their decisions. There is such a personality change, for the better, in their children. Every family and every child's needs are different. Try to think of where your daughter will thrive the most. Best of luck in your decision-making!

Darcy: I'm curious to hear more. While my daughter is only about 16 months old, I've been thinking more and more about homeschooling. I was a public school kid and went to good schools, but .. I don't know what this district is like and there's just so much crap and politics that I feel shouldn't be factoring into what is/isn't taught. I never would have considered homeschooling til I had my daughter, so it's kind of hard for me to admit considering it, actually.

Kathleen: I was planning to homeschool since before I had kids. My husband wasn't sure about it but he agreed that I would homeschool kindergarten at least and then once he saw that they were learning and still socializing, he would be okay with it. I did preschool homeschool with themes and daily activities. However my kids are now 4 and 6 and are in school. What happened? I am struggling with mental illness. I am doing pretty good right now but when I'm struggling more, I have no drive to do anything and I stopped preschool homeschool for months. This showed me that maybe homeschooling wasn't right for me after all. I couldn't just stop schooling them whenever I was in the middle of a depression. So they go to school but we do extra activities whenever I can and they are doing great.

Heather: I'm on my third... and if I've learned one thing, it's that each child is completely different and reevaluate your choice each year {sometimes more often}! My first went to a private Montessori school starting at 2 1/2 till 2nd grade... the class size was just too small. You would think that would be a good thing... but she needed a bigger pool of children to socialize with. We moved her to a public school and she's thrived. My second was in the Montessori school till Kindergarten when we moved her to the public school. I had learned my lesson with my first daughter and moved her earlier. It worked great. Now number 3 will be starting preschool in the next year and I have the same plan for her... but I also realize that she is her own person and she might benefit from a smaller environment for longer.

Ghada: My son is doing 3 days at pre-k and though I thought enrolling him to kindergarten for Sept 2012 was going to be a minefield, it was relatively painless. Luckily, Brooklyn has some of the best public schools in New York (so I've been told). I went on a tour of the school we are zoned for, and as a former teacher I have to say I was impressed. Well resourced and inviting. So we're set for September. I was looking for a school that would play to his strengths and foster basic skills at the same time. At our former neighborhood I had been invited to join an informal pre-k coop. That might be an idea for you, Cyndy. Basically this group of children with their parents met at each others house 3 times per week for 3 hours each time. One parent was responsible for the lesson that morning, the other 4-5 parents did not really need to get involved. They had set out a theme for each month beforehand, and each parent was responsible for teaching a week. You get to see how good you are with planning, while giving your child a chance to socialize, as well as yourself. Most successful homeschool scenarios I know work much like that. 2-3 days at home , 1-2 days with a group of homeschoolers and 1 day on an outing. do you have a homeschool network in your area?  

Cyndy: I think there are a couple networks and I'm most interested in the coop option I think. I share some of Darcy's concerns about values and I am also concerned about the "teaching to the test" phenomenon that I have seen play out in some school systems.

Darcy: Yes teaching to the test is not good for real world application. I like the way you can individualize the learning better homeschooling. Like, working on 5th grade English and 4th grade math for one child instead of the one size fits all regardless of age and learning style.

Kathleen: Darcy, that was a big selling point for me for homeschooling. That you could tailor the learning for each child and skip over things they understand or give extra help in other areas. I liked the idea of having the kids pick a topic they are interested in at the moment (like princesses or ancient civilizations or animals) and doing activities in the different subjects on that theme

LaVonne: My daughter is 4 and we just started a P4 homeschool curriculum with her this year. She is thriving. Luckily we get a lot of social interaction as well so this works for us. I am going to continue to homeschool, but each year I will re-evaluate if it is working for her. I am not set on homeschool only, but I prefer it. I actually just hate the thought of sending her out of the house at the age of 5. I want to control what she is learning and what she is exposed to, to a large degree at this age. (I hope that doesn't make me too much of a control freak.)

Cyndy: I think I'm leaning toward co-op so that she maintains social interaction. We don't do a lot of play dates (I don't do the whole play date thing very well lol), so I kind of need a co-op to get through I think

Mariah: I am a teacher and I do believe in the teachers in public schools. They are some incredible people. Still, it's not for everyone. My sister was an example of that. Due to health issues, she had to be homeschooled for a few years. I think it's something you have to look at each year and decide what is working best for you and your family. Above all else, the child needs to be at the center of the decision. I would love to be able to homeschool W to give him all of the variety of experiences I think are important to learning but now sometimes get lost in the organized chaos of the public school day. Maybe by the time he's kindergarten age I will be able to do that!

Darcy: I think even if you don't homeschool per se that you should still be involved with some supplemental learning at home. Especially if you are aware of any weakness in your district and/or you are unable to do it full time for whatever reason. Kids do well with involved parents, right?

Kathleen: Very true Darcy, I think all parents should be more involved with their child's learning.

Lena: I see so many people homeschooling and I really have my doubts. Don't you think that the social element is suffering? I understand kids still interact with some kids, but how about the social environment they will have to deal on a day to day basis. Wouldn't that be more difficult for them at the older age?

Cyndy: My guess is in the end we will either co-op or she will go into the public school district and we will, of course, be heavily involved. Of course that's a whole other topic as I think I need advice on getting involved. My husband says I scare people and I really don't mean to - I am a yankee in Texas!

Darcy: I think the lack of socialization is still the old homeschool stereotype. Homeschooling communities and such look much different than it used to.

LaVonne: Where we live there is a homeschool cooperative with over 100 families. These families get together and have play dates, field trips, and classes together, so homeschooling has gotten much better I think from when we were children. (We even have our own Facebook group and place to swap Homeschool curriculum.)

Emily: I am on the fence about homeschooling, too. I would love to do it, but I'm not sure that I could. There are a few subjects that I am not confident enough with. We have several charter schools - as well as the 'school choice' program - that are available to us. As it stands now, we'll be enrolling in private school for K-2 and see what happens with our school district. As I understand now, it's in good shape (with regards to the test scores on the standardized tests), but a lot can happen by the time we're ready to enroll.

Ghada: The target learning is what I really like about Mr 4's new school. Yes, they have a curriculum they need to follow, but they also have lots of methods for personalizing reading, science and the arts. I have to trust that my husband and I can do our part to further foster his strengths. I don't think I would enjoy homeschooling.

Do you home school? What are your thoughts on homeschooling?
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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Mommy Mindset: Healthy Toddler Snacks

The Mommy Mindset is a group of moms (who happen to be bloggers) chatting about a parenting topic. On weeks that I join the conversation, I'll be featuring the conversation. I was supposed to post this last week but got behind. Enjoy and please leave your ideas in the comments.
(c) Flickr User lindaaslund

The moms joining the conversation this week include Mariah of Formula Mom, Leila of The Go To Mommy, Kathleen of Callista's Ramblings, Tamara of Mommyland, Cyndy of Mama Does It All, LaVonne of Long Wait for Isabella, Darcy of Tales From the Nursery, Tonya of Bringing Up Hopkins, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Lena of Way2GoodLife, Ashleigh of Living Off Love and Coffee, and Ghada of Mama Goes BAM.

Mariah: I never realized how hard it could be to put together healthy snacks for W. I don't want him always eating crackers or cereal but it can be difficult to put together snacks that work well when we are out and about. He loves apple slices, peaches, bananas, green beans, and salad but those don't go in the diaper bag well. I end up taking goldfish with us a lot. Do you have any suggestions for other healthier snacks that work for toddlers?

Leila: We always had a selection of crackers, cereal, and raisins. Occasionally we did dried fruit since it was easy to carry around without spoiling.

Kathleen: Yogurt covered raisins keep well and add more to regular raisins. My kids never liked dried fruit much. If they don't mind them not being cold, fruit cups would work.

Tamara: When mine were little, what I did was get the 1/4 cup ziploc bowls with the lids, then add fruit to those and kept them in the fridge. I would cut them up when we I got home from the market so it was done and when walking out the door I didn't have to worry about it. Just grab and go! Tey fit right in the bottle bag that comes with a lot of the diaper bags to stay cool and if you keep it in the freezer when you're not using it, it stays cold longer! I also put veggies cleaned and sliced in the snack size baggies.
Dried fruit is another thing I would do. Get a big bag then put a small handful in the baggies. Frozen fruit works too. I would take frozen strawberries, toss them in the little bowls, and by the time they wanted them they were thawed enough to eat but still frozen enough to not be really messy.

Leila: Oh, Kathleen, that reminded me! Applesauce!!! It is not bad warm and you can get organic, sugar free, etc. Those work great too!

Cyndy: When Gwen was younger, I would try to have strawberries and blueberries in containers for her. I also had some of the Gerber snacks that she liked. She also really likes ham so I would bring slices of it in a container.

Kathleen: Yes, applesauce too. Also those baby puffs because toddlers like them too. I think they count as healthy?

LaVonne: My daughter is 4 and we pack snacks for her very often. This time of year we are giving her Cuties (those easy to peel citrus fruit), Annie's Organic Fruit Snacks, and Clif Kidz bars. Her newest favorite, which I have been purchasing on Amazon is Annie Chung Roasted Snack Seaweed Paper. We always have 100% juice boxes or her water bottle with us too. It seems like we have programmed her to ask for snacks and drinks anytime we are in the car though!

Darcy: We bring along Gerber crunchies. Rissa loves them now that she snubs the puffs! We also will take pouches of like applesauce since she'll suck it out of there. Oh and frozen fruit since its usually thawed by the time she wants it like Tamara mentioned.

Tonya: Whenever I would bring snacks for A it was always puffs. My 5 year old would eat them all the time.

Mariah: W now has his one year molars so I might feel safer trying some sort of fruit snacks if they aren't too sticky. I just don't want to get into the habit of giving him the same thing again and again. I want him to have a variety! He loves applesauce and we do carry it in the diaper bag. I like putting the fruit in the small tupperware containers! Thanks for the great ideas!

Emily: I love Plum Organics, Revolution Foods, and HappyBaby Products. Each company offers healthy snack choices for kids. The best part is that they're not full of preservatives & other nasty things I don't want The Boy exposed to. Some of his favorites are the pouches, I love that they combine fruits & veggies. I also carry bananas because he loves them and they travel well...as long as they're on the top of the bag!

Lena: I have been putting snack bags for my kids and my favorites are dry snap peas, plantain chips, dry berries, and cheerios. I put these together once a week in a tiny sandwich bags and the kids love getting their own snack bags. Seaweed snacks are also great and they come individually packed.
Valerie: A lot of great suggestions. My girls really like fruit and cereal bars. They are an easy to go snack.

Ashleigh: I have Pirate's Booty snacks, homemade muffins and 100% fruit cups around all the time. I love these other ideas as well! I am always looking for healthy but fun snacks for my son.

Ghada: It was pretty hard when Mr 4 was alot younger. As you say, a lot of the food you want to bring does not travel well. Thankfully he is a fruit kid and now we can bring apples and bananas. Unfortunately I think a lot of what we travel with is a little more on the less healthy side - biscuits and raisins. I'm going to try my hand at Kale chips this week and hopefully start making mini muffins from scratch again.

Mariah: These are all great ideas and maybe it's not as hard as it seems to get some variety into snack time, even when we're on the go! I will have to try all of these ideas and see which foods W likes and which he just throws back at me!
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